I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
