i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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