I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
