1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
