Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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