So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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