soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
