i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
