My room smells like vodka and shame
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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