let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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