i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
