Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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