Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
