the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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