I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
