have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
