I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
