forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
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If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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