before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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