He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
