Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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