I threw up into my coffee this morning.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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