Just fell off a train. Bad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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