Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
