it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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