Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
