Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize