Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
