anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
