I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
