im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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