he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
