Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
