Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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