my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Only a mothe r could love this liver
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
