Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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