There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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