More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
