You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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