Porn is love you can see.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
