One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
