i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
