I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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