I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
