Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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