He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize