Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
