just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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