The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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