Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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