I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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