well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Less talking, more tequila
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
