if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The Olympian is in my bed
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