i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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