If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
