He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize