Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
