Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
