I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
