His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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