He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
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I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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