Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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