one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
